Untitled
by Bluujai
Summary: Part one of a two-shot. Mukuros thoughts on Hiei, and how she feels about that. Bad Summary I know... Vote for the title on the inside!


**A/N: This is part 1 of a two shot thing. This being from Mukuros point of view, and the next will be from Hiei. I've been working on this off and on for a few months now. I wasn't able to decide on a title (there were too many I like!) But you can PM me to vote on the titles, or just leave your vote in the reviews. The titles will be at the bottom.**

_Things are changing. _

_It's ironic that the only thing that ever seems to really stay the same,_

_Is that change is a constant thing. _

_The world will always change until it is ended. _

_There are many irrelevent,_

_Microscopic things that do not matter much to me. _

_The lives of the victims I take,_

_The lives I spare for one reason or another._

_What's another life?_

_Another pawn in the grand scheme of things._

_There are greater things that matter to me. _

_My power as king, _

_The power I lost,_

_Though still keeping it in my own sense. _

_T__hat will never change,_

_I will remain powerful until the day I die, _

_Or kill myslf in the process. _

_Something that does stay the same, _

_Death._

_I used to not care about when, _

_Where,_

_Or how I would die._

_But then I met him, _

_The one I originally thought so insignifigant, _

_So reckless,_

_So intriging._

_The one that I felt more at home in his mind than I do my own. _

_The one who changed my life more than I ever imagined was possible._

_The one who saved me when I didn't think I needed to be saved. _

_The one who set me free. _

_Hiei_

./././

How long has he been here? Days, weeks, months, years... A millenia could have passed under the rough routine they had formed over another immeasurable period of time. They would go about their days, not revolving around the other, but came about each other anyways, doing what they needed to. Their job. He would go out on patrol. She would sleep. He would train. She would sleep. He would get into a fight. She would awaken. He would report back to her. They would talk, they would talk. He would fall asleep in her room. She did as she pleased, and so did he.

It became routine.

One she told herself not to become accustomed to. Things would change. He would leave. Things always change.

They already were.

./././

_There is something._

_Something inside of me that is new._

_Something changing on the inside._

_My heart?_

_Maybe._

_I don't know._

_It is new._

_But..._

_It feels familiar._

_Nothing I've ever really felt._

_But something I've dreamed or desired at one time._

_I don't know._

_It feels like him._

_Like I know it._

_Like a small warm fire that if you thought about too much would grow even hotter, _

_Until it felt as if it were choking you,_

_Keeping you from breathing, _

_Suffocating you from the inside._

_But it almost feels good._

_It isn't painful._

_It isn't an illness._

_It doesn't matter what it is._

_All I know is._

_I don't like it._

./././

"Mukuro?" Hiei walked into her room like he always did, like he owned the place, though he was always cautious of what type of mood she would be in. He saw her sitting at desk writing in a book of some sorts, what she wrote he didn't know or really care for that matter. She could handle all of that pollitical shit on her own.

"What is it Hiei I'm busy," She didn't look up from her book, continuing to write. He smirked walking in more confidently seeing as how she hadn't blown his chest to bits. Yet. He plopped down in what had been assumed 'his' chair propping his feet up to relax. Like this was his room. This was her room though. Their room in a twisted way that hurt your mind if you thought too hard about, but were blown to bits if you made the wrong assumption, having a fifty fifty shot at who would be the one to do it.

"It gets boring around here," He shut his eyes planning to drift.

"Then leave," She spoke in a monotone, flashing a quick, almost unnoticed, glance at him before continuing her work.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He spoke, his eyes refusing to open. She released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, and continued to act like she was paying more attention to the task at hand. She absentmindedly put her hand over where her heart was, the small warm fire she normally felt turned to an almost agonizing one. She couldn't speak. She could barely breathe.

"There's nothing for me out there," He looked away, not noticing how she breathed a sigh of relief and let her hand fall to her side at rest.

"And there is something _more _here?" She turned to look at him, completely ignoring the work she was just doing, finding more to do with staring at the fire demon who had fallen asleep on 'his' chair than working. She waited for his replay, though none came for he had already succumbed to sleep. She smiled a small smile turning back to her work which she did half heartidly.

./././

_Wishing only gets us so far._

_What we want and what we get,_

_Are two completely different things._

_I have learned,_

_You have to work,_

_Hard._

_Fall._

_Hard._

_So why?_

_Is it so hard now,_

_To just,_

_Go for it._

_Why?_

_Why is it all so damn hard?_

_Life,_

_Pain,_

_Love._

_Why is it so hard to believe that it is better to have loved and lost,_

_Than to never have loved at all? _

_Is it because,_

_Of the steep price that a heartbreak costs?_

./././

Dreaming had become both good and bad. Mukuro could remember a time where she had dreamless nights, free of wishes and fears. What happened to that? That was better, easier. She sometimes dreamed she was still fighting for her life, only to wake up drenched in her own sweat ready to take on any enemy in sight. Or even she were someone else. Someone that you would stand beside, have a simple conversation, and laugh with. Some one that wouldn't cringe at the slightest touch of affection, Someone who could embrace them, and then return them. Someone who wasn't broken. And then others she would have nightmares of his death, or his rejection. It didn't matter what the plot of the dream was, but _he _was always in them.

No matter what her dream, when she would startle awake, shaking and gasping for air. He would then wrap his arm securly around her, not saying a word, just being there. He didn't ask what was wrong. He didn't ask what she was dreaming about. She knew he probably was dying to know what caused her to act this way, but instead, gave her what she needed. She knew someday he would ask, and she wondered if she would be able to tell him, that they all were about him. She wondered what he would make of that. They would lie there motionless like that, all except for her heavy breathing until she calmed and fell back asleep. And that was enough to make the dreams go away for a little while.

./././

_Things were becoming dull,_

_Without him._

_Just the thought of walking into the next room,_

_If he's not in there,_

_Or with me,_

_That simple act seemed pointless._

_Everyday,_

_Is more focused around him,_

_Than he may know._

_And I wonder,_

_If his day,_

_Is ever focused around me._

_./././_

Mukuro gazed out of a window, looking at nothing in particullarly, scaning the horizon for anything that spiked her interest. She sighed out of boredom, things had been like this ever since she lost power. Sure she could probably regain it, but she found no desire to do that. She still had the hand full of followers who stuck around, praying one day she over through this more civilized form of so called government that had been placed in demon world. Of course she still was a big part of pollitics, helping the rising new king of demon world and what not, but it was nothing compared to the ruler she was. Or could still be...

She didn't mind this somewhat simple life though. She had her free time to do what she wanted, and the occasional time when she was needed with a matter in order to keep her busy.

She still had him also. To say she had become fond of his almost constant presence was becoming an understatement. She reached up to feel the small flame that now seeming forever embeded in her chest, still unsure of what to do about it.

She sighed again, resting her head on her hand looking across the gloomy world suddenly notincing a familiar fire demon walking towards the training ground. She felt her stomach where she had begun feeling something more when ever she saw him along with the flame. Like an almost pleasant nausea that swept over her entire being. She left the window, a small smile playing at her lips as the thought of taking a walk outside became more appealing.

./././

_Fighting._

_We never knew how to make our emotions into affection._

_Only fighting. _

_Every punch was a caress. _

_Every kick, _

_was a hug._

_Every wound,_

_A kiss. _

_Every blow,_

_An i love you. _

_Or something like that. _

_And every bruise we got from the other, _

_Was a reminder that there was someone out there saying _

_'Hey, I like you. _

_I want to be with you. _

_No one else. _

_And I don't want anyone, _

_Or anything to hurt you. _

_Except for maybe me._

_./././_

"Do it,"

Mukuro's eyes blazed into Hieis, showing not a hint of fright even though he clearly had the upper hand in their fight, his sword at her throat. Hiei didn't move, just stared blankly back at her. Their fight hadn't been a hostile one, but none the less, was taken just as seriously. They communicated with their fists, saying more than they could aloud to sort out most of their problems, big or small.

"Hn," Mukuro smiled slightly tapping the tip of his sword with his fingers, "You couldn't kill me if you tried," Hiei pressed his sword tighter against her neck, causing her wince in pain just a little. Hiei smirked.

"I don't think you're in the position to tell me what I can and cannot do,"

"Then why don't you go ahead, just a flick of your wrist and I will bleed to death from my jugular, you will have killed one of the most famous and powerful demons the world has ever seen." She continued to glare through the slight pain, still not backing down.

"You think too highly of yourself,"

"And lowly of you,"

"Hn," Hiei's smirk turned to a glare at her. They still hadn't moved a muscle.

"So go ahead, prove me wrong,"

"I can't do that," He sighed putting his sword away.

"And why is that?" She smirked.

"Because then my entire life would be boring."

./././

_I have come to a conclusion._

_I'm Sick._

_Very, very sick._

_I didn't think I was._

_But this is the only explanation._

_I'm sick._

_And this illness,_

_Will surely be the death of me._

./././

"Lord Mukuro, I didn't expect to see you here," A demon nurse exclaimed as Mukuro entered the fortress's medical area. Mukuro was hardly ever sick, and if she was then she didn't show it, and never told anyone. So to ever see Mukuro in a doctors office, was probably a once in a lifetime thing.

"I'm sick," She answered bluntly, sitting on an examination chair.

"Really!" The nurses eyes almost popped out, "I mean, what seems to be the problem."

"Well," Mukuro thought how to explain her symptoms, "I often feel feverish, but I don't have a fever," She placed her good hand over her heart, "And my heart has been beating way to fast, and it hurts often, but it doesn't hurt." She put mechanical arm around her stomach, "And I often feel nauseaus, but I don't need to throw up. And usually it's not all of these at the same time, just one or two at the same time. It's not a normal sickness but I don't know what it is and I don't like any of them so fix it."

The nurse looked at her confused,

"Um,"

./././

_Hesitant. Uncetain. Doubt. _

_Distrust._

_We both had trust issues._

_Both ran deep._

_Did he still have those issues?_

_Uncertain._

_He had already freed me of my shackles._

_In all sense of the word._

_But had I some how freed him of his?_

_Hesitant._

_I don't know if I have._

_I don't know if I ever will._

_But could I?_

_Doubt._

_I don't think so..._

_Fear._

_I'm afraid._

_I've fought hundreds._

_Killed thousands._

_Without so much as a blink of an eye._

_But now..._

_Now I am truely terrified._

./././

Mukuro lay in her bed, but she was not alone. She stared at the pillow across from her and the sleeping face that rested upon it. It wasn't unusual for Hiei to sleep in her bed with her when she was feeling generous. He wouldn't dare crawl in bed with her unless she asked, and tonight she noticed how his neck was turned in a way that wasn't natural, so she invited him in. She couldn't sleep though, so she just looked at him. She sighed a silent, contented sigh, feeling a peace for the moment.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," Hiei said, his eyes still closed.

"I thought you were asleep," She ignored his last statement.

"Well I'm not."

"Why is that?" she asked him.

"Because your loud breathing woke me up."

She didn't say anything back. She didn't feel like a meaningless banter between the two at this hour. It wasn't uncommon for them to argue, their personalities were too alike. Stubborn, sarcastic, rude, arrogent, and intellegent. Put them together and you've got a firework show. But lately, Mukuro hadn't found much enjoyment from arguing with Hiei. She had gotten to where she almost hated it. Almost.

She had become uncertain in many of her actions, which annoyed her greatly but she couldn't do much about it, which annoyed her more.

"Why are you still up?" his voice was softer now and it cause that strange feeling of nausea in the pit of Mukuros stomcah, and her heart to flutter.

"I just can't"

They remained silent for awhile, they both knew that she just didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to dream. Mukuro thought that Hiei had already fallen back asleep and decided to close her eyes to atleast rest. She felt movement beside her and assumed he was just moving in his sleep, that is until she felt warm lips press against her forehead.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her eyes snapping open to glare at him.

"I thought you were asleep." They stared into each others eyes, the glare faded from Mukuros eyes was replaced by an unreadable expression. Hiei couldn't tell if it was anger, fear, wonderment, hope, or a combinationg of all of them. She didn't know what he saw in her face, but whatever it was caused him to lower his head and press his lips against hers. This new feeling, that now sparked even stronger, Mukuro admited she may grow to like.

./././

_There are many things you can give._

_And many you can recieve._

_A mother will always give,_

_but not recieve,_

_from her child._

_But two lovers,_

_Must equally give,_

_Equally take._

_Many want to wait,_

_And give themselves to_

_One _

_And only one._

_But I,_

_Was stolen._

_And he,_

_Had given to another._

_But,_

_If he asked,_

_I would give him everything else._

_And vice versa._

_Even my soul,_

_It was already damned._

./././

"What is it Hiei I'm busy." Mukuro kept her eyes shut as she lay on her bed pretending to sleep, hoping the young fire apparition would soon leave but knowing otherwise.

"No you're not. Get up, I have something for you."

Mukuro groaned, but did as she was told. Wait. When did she do anything she was told? She shook her head and looked up to Hiei who was now walking towards the foot of her bed, pulling some thing from his cloak pocket. Her eyes widened slightly seeing what he held up to her face, a simple piece of string, with his priceless Hiruseki stone tied at the end. The same one she gave back to him.

"Why are you giving me this?" She looked up at him speciatively, "You should keep it. Don't go off giving it away."

"I want you to have it."

"Why?"

"Because," He sighed, "The feeling I get when I gaze upon this stone, is the same feeling I get when I look at you. Therefore you should be the one to have it."

"And what feeling might that be?" She asked skeptically.

"I feel..." he struggled for the right word.

"At home"

./././

_Things change,_

_They always do._

_But sometimes,_

_Things will change,_

_For the better._

_You just have to learn,_

_How to go with it._

_And admit to yourself_

_What you truely feel,_

_About everything._

./././

_"_I'm leaving,"

Mukuro winced, keeping her head down, not daring to turn her head to the oncoming footsteps as he continued to advance towards him. She heard his footsteps stop as he approached her.

"I'm leaving," he said again.

She kept her head down, bracing her self for the oncoming pain. She shut her eyes, clutching the fabric over where the agonizing fire in her chest lapped at her heart.

"But," she heard him say.

"I would like it, if you came with me."

Her eyes opened, shocked and looked up at him and stared into his eyes. He was smirking as he held out a hand. All pain was gone, replaced by a strange numbness as they stayed like that for what seemed like forever. And slowly, as the shock wore off, and she realized he was serious, the numbness slowly faded and was replaced by a feeling of relief, and a strange sensation of warmth and fluttering inside of her which she could finally admit was love.

She didn't know everything. She wasn't sure she wanted to. But what she did know was that where ever he was, she wanted to be too. Life seemed pointless with out him. The one she loved, and nothing could change that.

And so with a small smile, she took his hand.

**A/N: Yes, I know the end was just complete fluff. And I know this is super long! I do apologize lulz. Yes I did steal the fighting part from my oneshot series. I was gonna make somethin new, but I couldn't think of anythin and hey, waste not want not! And I know that demon hearts don't beat, but I made it that way XD! Also I can't see Mukuro ever being sick, and I can't see Hiei a virgin either XD! But anywho here are the titles you can vote on:**

**Falling Slowly-** **Having to do with how Mukuro is "falling slowly" for Hiei.**

**Subconcious-****Because over half of this story takes place in Mukuros mind.**

**Things Change- ****You can prob guess about this one.**

**At Home-****Because of Hiei's comment about how he feels at home with her.**

**Also I will take any suggestions for the title! DONT FORGET TO REVIEW!**


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